Q: What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
A: Nothing, you already told the bitch twice.
A: Nothing, you already told the bitch twice.
Nairobi, Kenya -- A Kenyan doctor who removed a bean stuck in the ear of
a young girl forced it back when her parents said they couldn't afford
the bill, local newspapers reported Wednesday.
The Daily Nation said the doctor successfully removed the bean from the
child's ear and then presented the parents with a bill for $5.75.
When they said they did not have enough money, the doctor grabbed the
child, forced the bean back into her ear and ejected the family from his
workplace.
The Kenya Medical Association said it was investigating the incident.
a young girl forced it back when her parents said they couldn't afford
the bill, local newspapers reported Wednesday.
The Daily Nation said the doctor successfully removed the bean from the
child's ear and then presented the parents with a bill for $5.75.
When they said they did not have enough money, the doctor grabbed the
child, forced the bean back into her ear and ejected the family from his
workplace.
The Kenya Medical Association said it was investigating the incident.
There was a young woman named Dottie
Who said as she sat on the potty,
"It isn't polite
To do this in sight,
But then, who am I to be snotty?"
"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
--Unknown
--Unknown
Semiomantics Shop 2010
The Semiomantics Shop 2010 will be the hot topic of the first Ycademy Business Building Seminar of a cycle of 12 (one Seminar per month) starting today, Saturday 23rd, 2010. It presents an extension of the Ycademy December Seminar 2009, where Seminar participants set up individual IT Consulting Blogs as the example featured below (click on the image; it will lead you to the original Web Design Consulting Blog).
The Ycademy Seminar January 2010 was booked out within days.
Semiomantics Shop 2010
The Semiomantics Shop 2010 under discussion is a basic Semiomantics WP Ecommerce based Shop solution that can be adapted to any WordPress Theme. It is an especially interesting approach as each product and each brand requires customized solutions.
We will be reporting on this exciting new Semiomantics Shop Workshop that equips our Web Design Consulting Team with a very efficient way to not only sell own products and services, but to provide customers with a user-friendly store that connects to the whole sales pipeline requirements plus follow-up and customer care.
The cherry on top: an Affiliate Program hooked to the new Semiomantics Shop!
To be continued. . .
Attorney to witness: "And where was the location of the
accident?"
Witness: "Approximately milepost 499."
Attorney: "And where is milepost 499?"
Witness: "About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost
500."
accident?"
Witness: "Approximately milepost 499."
Attorney: "And where is milepost 499?"
Witness: "About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost
500."
Vermont native, Ronald Demuth, found himself in a difficult position
yesterday. While touring the Eagle's Rock African Safari (Zoo) with a
group of thespians from St. Petersburg, Russia, Demuth went overboard to
show them one of America's many marvels. He demonstrated the
effectiveness of "Crazy Glue" ... the hard way.
Apparently, Demuth wanted to demonstrate just how good the adhesive was,
so he put about 3 ounces of the adhesive in the palms of his hands, and
jokingly placed them on the buttocks of a passing rhino.
The rhino, a resident of the zoo for the past thirteen years, was not
initially startled as it has been part of the petting exhibit since its
arrival as a baby. However, once it became aware of its being
involuntarily stuck to Demuth, it began to panic and ran around the
petting area wildly making Demuth an unintended passenger.
"Sally (the rhino) hasn't been feeling well lately. She had been very
constipated. We had just given her a laxative and some depressants to
relax her bowels, when Demuth played his juvenile prank," said James
Douglass, caretaker.
During Sally's tirade two fences were destroyed, a shed wall was gored,
and a number of small animals escaped. Also, during the stampede, three
pygmy goats and one duck were stomped to death. As for Demuth, it took a
team of medics and zoo caretakers over four hours to remove his hands from
the rhino's buttocks.
First, the animal had to be captured and calmed down. However, during
this process the laxatives began to take hold and Demuth was repeatedly
showered with over 30 gallons of rhino diarrhea.
"It was tricky. We had to calm her down, while at the same time shield
our faces from being pelted with rhino dung. I guess you could say that
Demuth was into it up to his neck.
Once she was under control, we had three people with shovels working to
keep an air passage open for Mr. Demuth. We were able to tranquilize her
and apply a solvent to remove his hands from her rear," said Douglass.
"I don't think he'll be playing with Crazy Glue for a while."
Meanwhile, the Russians, while obviously amused, also were impressed with
the power of the adhesive. "I'm going to buy some for my children, but of
course they can't take it to the zoo," commented Vladimir Zolnikov,
leader of the troupe.
yesterday. While touring the Eagle's Rock African Safari (Zoo) with a
group of thespians from St. Petersburg, Russia, Demuth went overboard to
show them one of America's many marvels. He demonstrated the
effectiveness of "Crazy Glue" ... the hard way.
Apparently, Demuth wanted to demonstrate just how good the adhesive was,
so he put about 3 ounces of the adhesive in the palms of his hands, and
jokingly placed them on the buttocks of a passing rhino.
The rhino, a resident of the zoo for the past thirteen years, was not
initially startled as it has been part of the petting exhibit since its
arrival as a baby. However, once it became aware of its being
involuntarily stuck to Demuth, it began to panic and ran around the
petting area wildly making Demuth an unintended passenger.
"Sally (the rhino) hasn't been feeling well lately. She had been very
constipated. We had just given her a laxative and some depressants to
relax her bowels, when Demuth played his juvenile prank," said James
Douglass, caretaker.
During Sally's tirade two fences were destroyed, a shed wall was gored,
and a number of small animals escaped. Also, during the stampede, three
pygmy goats and one duck were stomped to death. As for Demuth, it took a
team of medics and zoo caretakers over four hours to remove his hands from
the rhino's buttocks.
First, the animal had to be captured and calmed down. However, during
this process the laxatives began to take hold and Demuth was repeatedly
showered with over 30 gallons of rhino diarrhea.
"It was tricky. We had to calm her down, while at the same time shield
our faces from being pelted with rhino dung. I guess you could say that
Demuth was into it up to his neck.
Once she was under control, we had three people with shovels working to
keep an air passage open for Mr. Demuth. We were able to tranquilize her
and apply a solvent to remove his hands from her rear," said Douglass.
"I don't think he'll be playing with Crazy Glue for a while."
Meanwhile, the Russians, while obviously amused, also were impressed with
the power of the adhesive. "I'm going to buy some for my children, but of
course they can't take it to the zoo," commented Vladimir Zolnikov,
leader of the troupe.
There was a young fellow named Cribbs
Whose cock was so big it had ribs.
They were inches apart,
And to suck, it took art,
While to fuck, it took forty-two trips.
Whose cock was so big it had ribs.
They were inches apart,
And to suck, it took art,
While to fuck, it took forty-two trips.
Marriage changes passion...
suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
Ute Schaedler
3 Bad Diet Mistakes To Avoid At All Cost
Even though there is so much information available about weight loss, the same diet mistakes are being made over and over every day.
We are not talking here about little slipups where you ate a slice of pie that was not on the plan, but big mistakes that lead to failure to lose the weight that you want to lose. Understanding these errors can help you develop the attitude that will lead to permanent weight loss for you.1. The All Or Nothing Attitude
All or nothing dieters will often pick out a complicated diet that is almost impossible for them to maintain. Before beginning, they will search the kitchen for anything that does not fit the plan and throw it in the garbage. They are planning to be the perfect dieter, and so they will be, for one day, three days, seven days or even a couple of weeks. Then, inevitably, something happens that means they cannot keep to the diet one time. Immediately the whole thing is ruined in their eyes and the diet is over. They go to the store and buy all the things that went into the garbage last week and proceed to gain back all the weight that they lost, as fast as possible. If you are this kind of dieter you need to ask yourself some tough questions. Do you really want to lose weight permanently, or just lose a few pounds so that you can enjoy putting them back on again?The way forward is to make small changes to what you eat so that you have a slow but steady weight loss.
2. The Attitude of Sacrifice
Another common mistake is to view your diet as a period of sacrifice. You do not allow yourself the foods that you enjoy most while you are on your way to your target weight. You may have a great diet plan and be very successful in losing weight, but what happens when you reach your goal? You have not learnt to eat ‘bad foods’ in moderation so as soon as you start, you are likely to go out of control. It is better to include a little of everything in your diet and learn to enjoy it in small quantities. Yes, even chocolate!3. Goal Failure
Setting achievable goals is vital in any weight loss plan. Goals should be clear, realistic and set out in writing. While you probably do have an ideal weight in your mind, unless you are only very slightly overweight it is probably too distant to be useful. A more useful goal would be to lose two pounds per week for the first five weeks and then one pound per week after that. Some weeks you will lose more and some less, some weeks you may even gain, but if you track your progress on a graph you will see that ups and downs are natural and do not stop you progressing steadily toward your major goal. If you have been making these mistakes, do not worry. The most important point in dieting as in so many other things is to move on. Learn from your failures as well as your success and do not use a mistake as an excuse for giving up. The only way to achieve your goal permanently is to make a commitment to become a healthier person. Remember that eating normally includes eating more some days and less others. Learn to enjoy food in moderation and you have every chance of avoiding these bad diet mistakes.| Author: Ute Schaedler, Health, Fitness, Marketing & Publishing. If you enjoyed reading the above, please consider following future tips and strategies by RSS reader, Email delivery, or Kindle subscription. |
